Today in morning it was raining, the winters are setting in, so are long murky days. My day starts early, its started becoming very cold at 6 am in mornings. Lately, I was not keeping well so I decided to take a leave of absent from my daily runs. Am still as restless as ever, trying to focus on tasks at hand.

I decided to take leave from work and came to this café I love at khan market, New Delhi, the place has a vibrant atmosphere and is flocked by tourists and locals both. Some good music and food are the indigents for a nice afternoon writing. Bored by my circle of life am looking for new and better avenues to broaden my horizons.

The smell of the fresh coffee is awakening my senses. I just asked the lady/waitress, a very warm petty girl to give me a cup of hot black coffee. People around me are busy talking, chatting in their own circle of friends. And here am sitting alone, thinking about my life and friends. Strangely I feel more and more restless as days are passing. Am like a bird in a cage, who’s wings have been cut and looks at the sky, desperate to be free. But freedom is not in the destiny. This is life chaotic, sad ………

Today after many days I felt like writing again, am sitting in a café , just finished my lunch. From last many days am feeling very restless, my life is not heading any where. My girlfriend left India in July 2010. I have nobody now from last many days, though I was in love with her but she just didn’t give me any breathing space, always nagging for more from me, more time , more love, more ….

Then finally her profeshional time in India expired and she had to leave. Though I miss her but had no inclination to take this relationship any further. We both were not compatible enough for me to take that plunge.Then my old father met with a brain stroke, he was admitted in hospital ICU, I thought am going to lose him too. This thought of being without the one who loved you the most gives shivers in spine. To be without your loved ones in this ruthless world , can be the hardest you as a human can experience. Luckly he survived and rcovered, may god bless him a long life. Life is becoming more meaningless for me .

Days and months are passing without much new is happening. I try to keep myself positive by working out everyday, I get up in morning run for 4-5 miles, come home do my 45 mintues workout. Go to work , but still something meanigfull is missing. I feel am not born to do just all this, God brought me to mother earth for more than the ususall.

And then My birthday came and went , didn’t felt like celebrating , nothing great happened in life the last year. And there was nobody I could celebrate the day with. A new year of my life just started and I wonder what more nis in store for me. Well this is life………..