My New Tattoo

•  the fish has symbolic meaning. There are numerous species of fish, but the creature in general holds some prime symbolic meanings:
  
  fertility
  eternity
  creativity
  femininity
  good luck
  happiness
  knowledge
  transformation
  

  
  
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   In ancient Eastern Indian mythology, the fish is a symbol of transformation and creation. This is observed in the ancient flood myth in which Vishnu transformed himself into a fish (Matsya) to save the world from a great flood. In this form, he guided king Manu’s boat (which contained the select few survivors & seeds of life to re-create the world after the flood subsided) to safety.
  

  
  
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  In China, the fish is symbolic of unity and fidelity as it is noted that fish (particularly koi) often swim together in pairs. With this in mind, fish are often given as wedding gifts in the form of charms or figurines to present the newly-wed couple with an auspicious sign of fidelity and perfect union. They also represent fertility and abundance due to their ability to reproduce in speed and volume.
  

  
  
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  Furthermore, in Buddhism, the fish symbolizes happiness and freedom. Also the fish makes an appearance as one of the eight sacred symbols of the Buddha: 1) Conch, 2) Lotus, 3) Parasol, 4) Wheel, 5) Knot, 6) Pair of Golden Fish, 7) Banner of Victory, 8) Vase.
  

  
  
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   Lastly, in Norse and ancient European cultures, the fish had symbolic meanings of adaptability, determination, and the flow of life. It was observed by these cultures that fish often display enormous attributes of adaptability in the wild, and they adopted these characteristics for themselves. Salmon were commonly revered for their determination in their annual pilgrimage to their spawning grounds – the entire journey swum against the current.

You came to me like poetry in a song

showing me a new world of passion

loving me unselfishly and without reason

But Not knowing it was love

I protected my heart

the sun left and I was left singing your song

Loneliness takes over every emotion

Forgive me if fear stole any illusion

you came to me I could not love

and now all that is left is this song

Today in morning it was raining, the winters are setting in, so are long murky days. My day starts early, its started becoming very cold at 6 am in mornings. Lately, I was not keeping well so I decided to take a leave of absent from my daily runs. Am still as restless as ever, trying to focus on tasks at hand.

I decided to take leave from work and came to this café I love at khan market, New Delhi, the place has a vibrant atmosphere and is flocked by tourists and locals both. Some good music and food are the indigents for a nice afternoon writing. Bored by my circle of life am looking for new and better avenues to broaden my horizons.

The smell of the fresh coffee is awakening my senses. I just asked the lady/waitress, a very warm petty girl to give me a cup of hot black coffee. People around me are busy talking, chatting in their own circle of friends. And here am sitting alone, thinking about my life and friends. Strangely I feel more and more restless as days are passing. Am like a bird in a cage, who’s wings have been cut and looks at the sky, desperate to be free. But freedom is not in the destiny. This is life chaotic, sad ………

Today after many days I felt like writing again, am sitting in a café , just finished my lunch. From last many days am feeling very restless, my life is not heading any where. My girlfriend left India in July 2010. I have nobody now from last many days, though I was in love with her but she just didn’t give me any breathing space, always nagging for more from me, more time , more love, more ….

Then finally her profeshional time in India expired and she had to leave. Though I miss her but had no inclination to take this relationship any further. We both were not compatible enough for me to take that plunge.Then my old father met with a brain stroke, he was admitted in hospital ICU, I thought am going to lose him too. This thought of being without the one who loved you the most gives shivers in spine. To be without your loved ones in this ruthless world , can be the hardest you as a human can experience. Luckly he survived and rcovered, may god bless him a long life. Life is becoming more meaningless for me .

Days and months are passing without much new is happening. I try to keep myself positive by working out everyday, I get up in morning run for 4-5 miles, come home do my 45 mintues workout. Go to work , but still something meanigfull is missing. I feel am not born to do just all this, God brought me to mother earth for more than the ususall.

And then My birthday came and went , didn’t felt like celebrating , nothing great happened in life the last year. And there was nobody I could celebrate the day with. A new year of my life just started and I wonder what more nis in store for me. Well this is life………..

Reading @ Freefall by Joseph Stiglitz amazing book regarding the financial crisis which began in 2007, but also its underlying causes, and shows why much more radical reforms areneeded than are currently being contemplated if we are to avoid similar "systemic" crises in future.